Seasonal Affective Disorder

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Commentary

My recent writing probably makes it obvious: I’m struggling with disappointment and irritability. I’ll not bore you with the many, many irritants that swirl around me. Just know they are there, and some of them are even real!

Anyway, I thought I’d better have a little chat with my boss, the library manager. When I’m struggling internally, paranoia kicks in and I falsely assume that any smart observer can see right through me. What a relief to learn that my boss completely understands–and sympathizes with–my stress. In fact, he himself had recently published a blog post specifically dealing with holiday stress. That doesn’t mean I’m free to be a Grinch. I still have to be polite to patrons and coworkers. But if I’m feeling irritated, at least I’m not afraid of a secret and powerful judge of “mere” FEELINGS.

(background image is AI-generated and submitted to Pixabay by Jeanette Atherton)

Restore Me

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Commentary

This poem is not about mountain climbing,* or litter, or relief maps. Rather, it is an indirect way of expressing the anger and disappointment that chatters persistently in my thoughts. While I do have much to be thankful for–it IS Thanksgiving morning as I write–I’m finding it hard to escape or ignore disappointments and annoyances. But let me explain the imagery in the poem….

I started climbing mountains over forty years ago. Back then, we didn’t have the Internet to help us plan routes. In the weeks before a climb, I’d take trips down to the Dallas Public Library and spend time with topo maps prepared by the U.S. Geological Survey. I’d spread several maps on the big tables, stand to the side, and view them together to familiarize myself with the general contours of the land surrounding my destination and chosen route. I’d pick out likely camping spots, based on the terrain and water supply. Then I’d mark up my own copies of the maps, circling key points, including landmarks I could use on the trail for triangulating my approximate location.

Climbing mountains was an exciting adventure. There was mystery and danger, even though I prepared in advance. When I got to the mountains–generally with two or three companions–there was also solitude. We’d find evidence of prospectors and hunters who preceded us there by many decades. But we generally had the place to ourselves. The few fellow climbers we did encounter–particularly at higher elevations–were immediately recognizable as kindred spirits. They were honest, hard-working fellow climbers.

As the years passed, the Internet, and GPS, and smart phones opened up the mountains to a whole new group of casual adventurers. When we reached the summit of mountains in latter years, it was not uncommon to encounter a gaggle of college girls in yoga gear, doing yoga poses… bless their hearts. While man–including precious young ladies–is the height of God’s creation, it was vistas of another sort I had climbed the mountain to admire.

Nowadays, the closest I get to mountain climbing is taking long hikes through neighborhoods, fording a busy stream of traffic, and cutting across the fields around White Rock Lake. Bad hearing isolates me from the few birds, but not from the ridiculous rumble and roar of traffic. A terrible floater in one eye and cataracts in both eyes have robbed me of the clear eyesight I have always treasured. Addressing these annoyances is delayed by tight finances. Maybe next year I’ll be a bionic man, but for now I am an active mind shackled in a deteriorating body.

The annoyances I complained about above may be the most manageable of all my annoyances. Last week, I wrote a short poem of complaint about the direction our country seems to be taking: “Recall the Future.” The recent presidential election was extremely disappointing.

BUT BRAD… ISN’T IT THANKSGIVING?!
As I mentioned above, it is Thanksgiving morning as I write this. I feel the pressure to end this lament like most of David’s Psalms, with an answer to all my complaining. But right now, I think it’s best to acknowledge where I’m “at”. Perhaps I can consider and even take consolation from a paradox that occurred to me on one of my long walks:

To be increasingly content in this world is a virtue.
To be increasingly satisfied with this world, not so.

*[To understand how mountains form the backdrop of my thinking, check out some of my other poems in the category “MOUNTAINS”.]

Recall The Future

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Commentary

This is a bit of conflation, and I’m not going to apologize for that. It’s what we poets do.

[NOTE: I am truly sorry that the following will likely offend some of my friends. If it helps, let me say that this post is NOT about Democrats versus Republicans, or even about Liberals versus Conservatives. Both sides have serious problems!]

I am extremely disappointed that the United States just elected Donald Trump for a second time. The man is a narcissist, rapist, felon, and shameless liar with fascistic tendencies. I cannot erase the picture of him twiddling his thumbs for three hours while his violent minions brutalized police and ransacked our nation’s Capitol on January 6, 2021. I cannot forget his juvenile insults of everyone who opposes him. I cannot forget how he claims that everything is rigged against him unless he prevails. I cannot forget how he denigrates immigrants (especially if they are people of color), always appealing to our latent racism. I cannot forget the number of times he has claimed that he knows more about any number of things than anyone else. I cannot forget how many cabinet members from his first administration warned us that the man does not belong in the White House. But we know better, right?!

The Poem
He’s a bully, and a wannabe “strong man” like those who ruled Germany, Italy, and the Soviet Union in the 1930s. But what percentage of our population know even the basics of pre-World War II history? What percentage of our population recognize how history is repeating itself as we give up freedom and pave the way for tyranny?

I suspect many, if not most politicians DO know the relevant history. But they turn a blind eye to how history is repeating itself. It is their duty to stand up for the rule of law, to uphold the Constitution. But how can they stand up when they are spineless in their self-seeking exercise of power?

(background image from a photo by Ron Porter on Pixabay)

Roadtrip

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Commentary

Promise not to laugh at how poorly this poem expresses its inspiration…. I was reflecting on what some different Christians emphasize in the Eucharist (aka Lord’s Supper or Communion). For some, it’s primarily retrospective: remembering how Jesus sacrificed himself for us. For others, it’s primarily prospective: looking forward to the Feast in Heaven. For others, it is mainly about God’s provision here and now. Do really clever believers celebrate it all three ways at once?

A related poem: Looking For The Real Lord’s Supper

(background image adapted from one by Bertsz on Pixabay)

Euangelion

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Commentary

First, the occasion for this poem: I’m slowly working through Paul’s Epistle to the Romans, and I thought I should figure out if–and how–Paul actually defines the key word euangelion (usually translated “gospel” or more literally “good news”). He certainly goes a long way toward characterizing the word.

When I was a little boy, my father—ever the seminary professor—had no use for mere parroting. We’d read a passage of Scripture in family devotions, and then Dad would say, “Now put that in your own words.” I have written elsewhere how annoying that was… and how right he was!

Eugene Peterson would probably have done the same thing. He and Dad both knew that real understanding can be lost in overly familiar words.

If you do a search for “gospel” in the helpful (and FREE!) YouVersion app, you’ll find that most English versions choose that word–“gospel”–to translate euangelion (https://www.bible.com/search/bible?query=gospel). But specify Peterson’s “The Message” as the version in your query and you won’t find it used even once. Does that mean that Peterson didn’t value “the gospel”? I’m guessing the very opposite is true: It was because he valued the gospel SO MUCH that Peterson insisted on using his own words. He didn’t want its glory obscured by familiarity.

In this poem, I started out with the concept of words as suitcases of meaning. I began writing, and let the words take me where they would. As is often the case, it got a little dark.

If you ask around for people’s definition of “the gospel,” you’ll find there are different emphases concerning what the “good news” is about. Many will say it’s good news about God’s Kingdom. For some reason, I usually think of the gospel as “good news” about the availability of eternal life in a resurrected body in a restored creation. It’s very good news indeed! But that good news implies bad news, the news that apart from grateful reliance on God (my own words for “faith”), “life’s too short.”

See my closely-related prose poem “Prosaic Parrot.”

Glory Exchanged

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Commentary

[22] Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools [23] and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

Romans 1:22-23 NIV

I’m slowly crawling through Romans these days. Currently, I’m pondering how and why God’s “wrath is revealed” against the unrighteousness of man (Romans 1:18). At the same time, I have perennial curiosity about what it means that man was made in God’s image. [As an aside, my current thinking is that man was fashioned to reflect God’s invisible character in the visible world. For instance, as God “sees” us metaphorically, we literally look and behold others (thus becoming aware of their needs and inherent beauty). It’s our behavior by which we image God—or fail to do so.] Given my fixation with the imago dei, it’s likely I’m unfairly injecting the concept into Paul’s exposition. You may notice the resulting conflation in my little poem.

Here are some pointers to what I’m exploring in the poem:

Matting and framing are how I chose to represent “worship” or “idolatry.”

“On unpleasant paper” expresses the corruption of succeeding generations. It may also reveal something laughable in my finicky nature. Does anyone remember thermal fax paper that came in rolls for use in fax machines? Maybe you have to be old and “on the spectrum” to remember how gross that paper was to the touch!

“Self portrait” serves here as a metaphor for the imago dei–man’s being created in God’s image.

Leonardo da Vinci is not to be confused with God. He just happens to have done a self portrait that suited my poem. On the other hand, one could argue that he reflected God pretty well in terms of his own creativity and of appreciating God’s creation! When it came to seeing, da Vinci saw very well.

Did these comments open up the poem for you? I’d love to get your feedback! Reply by email or comment below.

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(frame image adapted from one by Alexander Lesnitsky on Pixabay; da Vinci self portrait is from Wikimedia Commons)

Wrath and Righteousness

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Commentary

As I continue to struggle—and mainly fail—to understand Romans, I was struck this morning by Paul’s parallel statements about RIGHTEOUSNESS and WRATH:

[17] For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “But the righteous man shall live by faith.”  [18] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 

Romans 1:17-18 NASB1995

I suspect we need to think DEEPLY about how righteousness and wrath compare and contrast.

PHRASES TO NOTICE IN THE POEM:
“Night and Day by moon and sun” depicts the impersonal, unending aimlessness of someone who scorns God’s guidance.

“Grateful, leaning pray” expresses my current understanding of saving faith: it is grateful reliance on God.

“Older Brother’s warm embrace” This re-imagines the story of the Prodigal Son. But in this case, the older brother is not bitter but embracing. Also, I chose “embrace” as an expression of the believer’s being IN Christ.

(background image adapted from a photo by Junior Peres Junior on Pixabay)

Welcome Being Told

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Commentary

A TIME FOR TELLING, A TIME FOR BEING TOLD

Back when I was eagerly adding clients to my website business, there were three memorable occasions when I turned down the new business after an initial interview. In each case, the would-be client was some older gentleman who spent two solid hours talking about himself and never asking me a single question.

I expect to be each of my clients’ “webmaster for the long haul.” So, years and years of disrespect is something I avoid when I have the choice.

That being said, I am thankful for some other memorable occasions, when the Lord enabled me to serve someone else by listening and asking key questions. I imagine counselors are richly blessed in this way….

Neighbor-Hood

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Commentary

When you live in the same neighborhood for 30 years, and are moderately outgoing, you learn who’s pleasant to chat with and who you’d rather avoid. Racism is a huge turnoff, as are complaints like “the neighbor’s sprinkler is getting my grass wet.”

Spinning

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Commentary

In a short video that I watched recently, Neil deGrasse Tyson explained how it is that there are spots on Earth’s surface that are farther from the center of our planet than the summits of our tallest mountains. The continual spinning of Earth has caused its equator (actually, a latitude south of the equator) to broaden out. The result is that our planet is now pear-shaped.

More recently, a friend was demonstrating the security footage that his Tesla recorded as we were approaching the car upon returning from a hike. There on the dashboard screen was this fellow approaching the car on my side and getting in. He, too, was a bit pear-shaped. Let’s just say the camera adds ten pounds–I’ve got to spin it somehow!

Flat Earth Breakfast

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Commentary

Hopefully I don’t need to comment on this one. Right?

I’ve participated in a pancake toss once or twice. It was at Family Camp at Horn Creek Ranch in Colorado. Out on the porch of the cafeteria, the chef stood behind a griddle scooping perfectly cooked pancakes and tossing them out to us campers. We were supposed to catch the pancakes on our paper plates. I think we were successful 80% of the time. But we laughed 100% of the time.

By the way…. Log Cabin is what I grew up putting on my mother’s perfect pancakes. It’s what I like. Susan’s folks were from New England, so maple syrup is the only reasonable topping to her way of thinking. Oh well… you can’t be right all the time.

(background image adapted from a photo by Яна Тикунова on Pixabay)

Put On Mercy

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Commentary

In his letter to Jewish believers scattered throughout the Roman Empire, James has his readers imagine their response to a poor man walking into their church. Something I hadn’t noticed until this morning is that James has the poor man coming in AND going out in shabby clothes.

First the coming in:

For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in…

James 2:2

And then the going out:

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?

James 2:15-16

The verses between this coming and going talk about impartiality. If you’re like me, you interpret that as “Don’t treat the rich visitor better than the poor visitor.” But James goes beyond such passive impartiality. He wants to know what you’ve done for that poor man between the welcome and dismissal, between the coming and the going. Are you sending him off just as poorly provisioned as when he came in? Notice the last of James’ examples of proper, faith-fueled hospitality:

And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way?

James 2:25

Some Things to Notice in This Poem

First, the title “Put On Mercy” has two meanings. The Apostle Paul urges believers

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;

Colossians 3:12 (NKJV)

That’s the first meaning of “Put On Mercy”: be clothed in a virtuous manner of life.

But sometimes we fake it. Then our would-be virtue might just be put-on mercy: fake mercy.

In the last stanza, I cast doubt on whether or not the speaker is really putting on mercy. The speaker is assumed to have faith. Does he dress accordingly? Really? He’s warm and filled. Does merely wishing the same for the poor visitor amount to mercy?

Second, “shabby clothes” in this poem are an impersonal shell for the unloved, ignored visitor. The words don’t even acknowledge the person, but refer to him or her as “all that is–or, in poverty is not–within them.”

Third, “mercy me” is an odd phrase. We utter it to express alarm or agitation. But what if some non-standard English speaker thought that it constitutes an actual plea for mercy. Could we hear it that way? Would we respond with God’s mercy? Or would the mendicant leave without our response?

Finally, “all that is within” may serve as a faint bit of fake holy talk. It echoes a well-known Psalm:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!

Psalm 103:1 (ESV)

[Does that commentary help you understand the poem better? I’d love to hear from you! (If you received this poem via email, click on the poem title. That will take you to the blog where there is a comment form. If you’re shy in your response, just respond to the email!)]

(background image based on a photo by Gianni Crestani on Pixabay)

On The Ridge

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Commentary

Isolation and alienation have probably affected my outlook on life far more than I consciously understand. Consider the following from my youth:

  1. My first ten years, I was a gringo living in Mexico; I connected with the handful of other Anglo missionary kids far more than with the surrounding culture
  2. When we moved to a little East Texas town, I didn’t connect with that culture either; my different life experience, religious and academic orientations were off-putting to others and a barrier to fitting in
  3. In the advanced English course in my first semester of college, there were only three of us guys in a classroom of young ladies; that may sound wonderful for the guys, but it continued my theme of not fitting in (to this day, I find few men who appreciate poetry; even fewer who write poetry)

In the decades since, I got along fairly comfortably in white evangelical culture… until my late 50s. Beginning in 2016, and then rapidly accelerating in 2020, I began to distance myself from that culture. Now, I once again feel the isolation and alienation of my youth.

Here’s how that came about…. At the very time I began to recognize selfishness and racism in my own heart, a large majority of white evangelicals began to embrace and trumpet these sins.* When terrible events of 2020 and 2021 afforded opportunities to inspect our hearts and to repent and reform, too many doubled down instead on their love of power and privilege. Their hard hearts led them to hate good men and to love evil men. (Here’s a poignant poem I wrote at that time: “Lord’s Day Vision.”)

Am I blameless in all this? NO! I played a small part in promoting the drive for power and privilege until I saw what I had been doing. Even now, I keep having to bury my former affections, to douse the flame of former loves.

Does this poem make more sense to you now if you read it again with that background? I’d love to know! Comment below (click the poem title if you’re seeing this on email; there’s a comment form on the blog).

A related poem, especially with regard to God’s mercy in reforming us is “To A Misguided Cedar.

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*I say “began to embrace and trumpet….” A better word may be “revealed.”

(background image cropped and tinted from a photograph by Peter Balog on Pixabay)

Delicious Earth

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Commentary

I don’t really have much to say about this poem. The image of waves licking the world’s shores simply jumped out of my waking mind one morning. I’ll blame it on my silly muse.

Here’s a simpler version:
I awoke from a snore
With this curious thought:
The waves are licking
The melting shore.

(background image by Alexa on Pixabay)

Could Someone Remember?

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Commentary

I don’t have the energy right now for yet another essay on the frustrations stemming from my leaky memory. But here are some bullet points. Is there a pattern?

  • One or another of my very good friends will occasionally astound me by quoting something I said to them twenty or thirty years ago
  • Of the 400+ poems that I have published on this website, I could quote only one or two from memory; generally, I forget my poems within 5 minutes of writing them
  • I tend to remember names of people and flowers
  • I tend not to learn or remember things unless I think they’re true
  • I remember ideas, not their specific formulation
  • Sometimes I’m glad that I forget things that aren’t necessarily true; I suspect some people consider anything they remember ipso facto true

How about you? I’d love to hear your bullet points!

(background image by Andreas Lischka on Pixabay)

Stay Off Icy Roads

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Commentary

I keep thinking about what I was trying to communicate in this poem. It may be this: we all have a different tolerance for assumptions. I have trouble with people who jump to conclusions with hardly any thought (the first stanza).

Others are better about checking their assumptions (the second stanza), but they still skate over many facts without considering them. Such people are efficient in their thinking (think of Daniel Kahneman’s “thinking fast”). Still, such people can get irritated when their assumptions are questioned. They don’t want to slow down to consider weaknesses in their thinking. I get along fine with such people… for the most part.

How about the third stanza? One cannot live without making millions of assumptions every day, so nobody REALLY lives fully in the third stanza. But some of us come closer than others. Just ask my wife. When something goes missing in the house, I am methodical in my search; I look in places where she doesn’t bother looking. She’s being efficient; I’m being thorough. I once found something valuable that was missing (keys, if I remember correctly) IN THE TRASH BIN IN THE ALLEY. Yeah, remember that? Boom! I’ll always have the keys in the trash can story to excuse my slow thinking!

(background image cropped and tinted from original by Albrecht Fietz on Pixabay)

Whatever, Vincent

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Commentary

When I posted this on social media, more than one of my really bright Facebook friends responded with a laughter emoji. One of them even wrote, “You have a sense of humor.”

Honestly… I wasn’t feeling very humorous. My sarcasm was dark humor at best, and I was mainly feeling the darkness. It’s the darkness of a fear I’ll never find my audience in this lifetime.

Artists, including musicians, painters, and poets, are candles burning in the night. We try to shed light on beauty and truth, but feel snuffed out instead by those who are content with darkness.

I HAVE THIS COMING TO ME
I confess habitual laziness of my own when it comes to art I don’t understand. For instance, I’m woefully ignorant of meaning in great paintings. But when someone explains a Caravaggio, or a Rembrandt, or a Bruegel, I listen in humble appreciation. Then I realize how much of beauty and truth I’ve been missing.

(background image is cropped from a photograph by Perlinator on Pixabay of Vincent Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”)

Top of Mind

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Commentary

CONFESSION
This last week has been unnecessarily tough for evangelical Christians. Some were deeply offended by the world.* Others were dismayed** that the first group took offense. I’m solidly in the latter camp. But I’m NOT PROUD of an unloving, disdainful edge in my own response. I must answer for my own response, not for others’.

(background image by Alberto Adán on Pixabay)

*For future reference, this was about the opening ceremony of the 2024 Olympics in Paris.

**There are good reasons for the dismay, but that’s not my point here.

Good Wine

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Commentary

Do you ever feel like, “God isn’t pleased with me and never will be”? I suspect that is a thought that hangs over many of us, even those who are saved through faith in Jesus Christ. Well, every now and then, I just feel like saying “Go jump in a lake” to the accuser. In plain language, I suspect that in Heaven, God will express far more pleasure with us than Satan would have us anticipate.

There are two odd, but purposeful wording choices in this poem:
1) “be proven to have been” That could easily have been “prove to have been,” which would be far easier to read! But I wanted to steer clear of any mistaken notion that the “wine” will do the proving. It’s God who will prove anything. I can imagine Him saying “Here, look at this,” or “Here taste this,” or “Consider how this servant demonstrated my goodness.”

2) “favored year” was originally “favorite year.” But then I realized that was too exclusive, which was the opposite of my intent! More than one year can be favored. When God’s the one favoring, all the years can be favored. And again, “favored” suggests the year receives God’s grace and provision, not that it earns his approval. From my reading of Scripture, “favored” is closer to reality than “favorite.”

(background image by “beasternchen” on Pixabay)

Island Hopping

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Commentary

With our limitations of time, intelligence, and memory, each of us must choose carefully from the smorgasbord of information that is laid out for us daily.

I originally titled this poem “Why This Smattering?” It is a thinking out loud about my tendency to dabble idly in what’s likely too many areas of knowledge. Why do I do this? I could easily offer virtuous-sounding self-justification. But is there an unhealthy side to this?

(background image by LensPulse on Pixabay)

NOTE: While I have you here, let me invite you to check out some significant improvements on my website:

1) I created a page of my FAVORITE POEMS
2) I tagged most of the poems with themes so that you can find poems in that way

Crayon Mona Lisas

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Commentary

This poem was prompted by current events. There’s a debate raging right now on social media about whether or not an event at the Paris Olympics was a blasphemous depiction of the Last Supper. Apparently there were some similarities between the Paris event and Leonaro da Vinci’s painting “The Last Supper.” However, some of my sources who are most savvy concerning history and art are suggesting that the Paris tableau vivant (assuming that’s what it was–I haven’t bothered looking) was actually a depiction of Greek mythological motifs. In this post, that doesn’t matter. There’s something more important.

Having learned misdirection from my magician (and theologian) father, I thought I’d cast the question about blasphemy in a less religiously-charged da Vinci painting: “The Mona Lisa.” In this poem, I’m exploring the question, “What IF pagans misappropriate or misrepresent Christianity. Should Christians take offense? Should we wag our fingers and say ‘Don’t you DARE insult our Lord in this way!'”

GOT ALONG
My answer is in the last stanza of the poem. We who know what was happening at Jesus’ last supper with his disciples should not get bent out of shape if someone misrepresents that event. The truth is not in any danger. All of eternity will vindicate Jesus’ goodness, and our decision to follow Him.

After writing the poem, I was tempted to change “got along” to “moved along.” For two reasons, I am resisting that temptation. “Moved along” would suggest that the knowing adults in the story just leave the scene. But that’s not what I wish Christians would do when we encounter supposed threats to Christianity. In the current kerfuffle, we have the opportunity to engage non-believers in a positive way–to get along with them for everyone’s benefit. Study C.S. Lewis and consider how mythology is answered by Christ, how pointers to a feast WILL be fulfilled in time and eternity. That’s the first reason. Honestly, the second reason is simply that I have to trust my subconscious when it comes to writing poetry!

NOTE: SINCE I HAVE YOU HERE, HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY PAGE OF “BRAD’S FAVORITE POEMS“?

Mountain Symphony

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Commentary

You might think from the odd first line that I’m experiencing synesthesia. Who LISTENS to a painting? Who can HEAR the scene it depicts? Not me. And that’s just the point! 

I long to be IN the scene, for tight-in frames to fall away from a panoramic view. To hear. To feel. To be out there. To be UP there! To waken sleeping sympathies. 

Mountain men love mountain symphonies.

Why This Suffering?

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Commentary

For several weeks now, I have been camping out in the last several chapters of Acts and 1 Peter (before breakfast and on my lunch walk, respectively). Meanwhile, I am suffering some trials. This poem/prayer is a response to what I’m reading and thinking and living.

Here’s an exchange I had about this poem with someone I deeply respect:

Debbie Johnson: There is so much chaos, so much pain littering a landscape made for beauty & wonder.

Me: Well-put! And yet the suffering that results is—inscrutable to me—a major part of restoring that landscape.

Debbie Johnson: Yes! And as CS Lewis would add, recognizing the unsoothable ache is a reminder we were made for something beyond even our best here.

Acts 20-28, 1 Peter 5:10

Aurora Andina

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Commentary

[This strange little poem is a flight of fancy. Any connection with a Greek goddess, a Norwegian singer, or a school in Cusco, Peru is accidental.]

Tonight, I was thinking about a photo I edited this morning. I had shot a Peace Lily flower and then boosted the saturation. Was it too much saturation? Am I overly enamored with jewel tones? Then I thought about places on earth where jewel tones are extravagantly displayed. I’ve seen them in the clothes of Quechua in the Peruvian Andes; I’ve seen pictures of the Aurora Borealis. How is one like the other? I began writing about the harsh settings, and the comfort brought to those settings by brilliant displays of color….

By the way, here’s the photo that launched me on this flight of fancy. As I was walking by one of the Peace Lilies at the library where I work, I thought I’d stoop down and look at one of the flowers from a lower vantage point. The heavy timber framework of the library’s high ceiling provided an interesting background. So I snapped a photo, and then did a little editing.

(poem’s background image by Yolanda Coervers on Pixabay)

Learn From Weeds

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Commentary

Someone I love advised me against being as transparent as I wish to be. If this is insensitive, please forgive me….

In my work at the library, my favorite clients tend to be older black women. Here’s what I have observed…. They are often vocal followers of Jesus Christ, and they tend to have a joy that rises above the circumstances I KNOW they have experienced through a lifetime in our country. They are my superiors, and I love working with my superiors.

Here’s a story I wrote about one such patron:

A little lady stopped by the reference desk holding her computer pass. “I’m going to need your help,” she said to me. Then, feigning terror, she added, “Look at my face!”

“Full of beauty, love, and grace?” I shot back. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you.”

As we sat together working on her documents, she began telling me how good her grown children have been to her, how if she asks them to do so they’ll pool their money and buy her a computer. To prove her point she showed me pictures of the little greenhouse they bought her, complete with a clever sprinkler system. I asked her how she’ll cook the squash and okra she started in the greenhouse and is now growing in her garden (hint: it involves baking, which is better than boiling!).

Humor, patience, thankfulness. The question I’d shot back at her was right on the money. Look at her face… full of beauty, love, and grace.

Uncontainable Glory

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Commentary

I’m camping out in the last third of Acts. Here, the threat posed to unconverted Jews by Paul’s missionary project comes to a head. He has returned to Jerusalem, and he is recognized as one who has been promoting God’s Kingdom to Gentiles. At one point (in Acts 22), he is addressing a crowd that wants to kill him. They are listening quietly right up until he says, ‭“Then the Lord said to me, ‘Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.’” (v. 21)

Luke writes, ‭‭“The crowd listened to Paul until he said this. Then they raised their voices and shouted, ‘Rid the earth of him! He’s not fit to live!’” (v. 22)

We must ask ourselves why the listeners were so enraged by Paul’s mission. Were they afraid of some great loss? (***And what about us, in the battles WE wage?***)

I’m reminded of that strange little passage in John chapter 12 where some of his disciples inform Jesus that there are Greeks wishing to meet him. John writes, ‭“Jesus replied, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.’” (vv. 23, 24)

There’s a lot to unpack in that seeming non-sequitur. In short (when did a poet ever unpack anything?!), God’s glory is revealed when his self-sacrificial love for the world confronts man’s selfish tribalism.

Be on the lookout for where you oppose God’s loving purpose. The little glimmer you’re protecting WILL be put to shame by God’s glory.

Burial Clothes

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Commentary

Here’s one of my weird poems, a blurting out of thoughts I don’t yet fully understand.

For what it’s worth…. I’m reading (having a fierce argument with) a book that purports to be about theologically-correct social justice. Over and over, I find myself wondering if Jesus would rebuke the author in the same way he rebuked fine-sounding Pharisees.

(background image by Brunox on Pixabay)

Father’s Last Feeding

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Commentary

For about two weeks, I had been collecting footage from this cardinal nest just outside my window. As it turned out, this would be the last footage I got before the baby bird and parents disappeared. I know from previous experience that a baby bird flies off before you think it could possibly be ready. So I’m assuming the best!

The background music is from Dvorak’s “New World Symphony.” That was one of my mother’s favorite symphonies, and so it is also special to me. I thought I’d record myself playing it on the accordion, but gave up after I heard my first recording attempt. So, I downloaded a royalty-free copy of an orchestral version of the Largo movement and used my favorite part of that.

Everything But Beauty

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Commentary

I was trying to articulate what drives me to write poetry. Since I have also climbed mountains, I am accustomed to answering for strange obsessions.

Poetry is not my creation of beauty, but my experience of beauty.

The background image is from a 2017 climb of Mount Belford.

Let’s Be Honest Astronauts

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Commentary

This may appear to be a depressing poem. Let me explain why it isn’t really….

A dear friend treated me to supper last night. This morning, I woke up and immediately wrote down what I had said to him, except that I put it in verse. Here goes:

TO UNKNOWN SIDE OF MOON I GO
Over the last several years, slowly at first, but gathering speed as time passes, I have been changing. At least I have been examining my life more carefully, and laying myself open to change.

RACISM
First, I became aware of my own racism. In 2016, I was being considered for a job that would have involved ministering in the Hispanic world. But even though I am a missionary kid born in Mexico, I had by my mid-fifties developed significant antagonism toward the growing population of Hispanics in the US. We can all thank God that job didn’t pan out. Imagine the hypocrisy!

Just after that, I went full-time with my web design business. In all the spare time I had, I began taking long daily walks. On those walks, I listened to many books, including all of the Bible (several times through). I’d walk around White Rock Lake, listening, and pondering. I also began observing how I responded to each person that I encountered on the trail. Why was my heart immediately warm toward this person, but cold and distrustful toward that person? I noticed–once again–that racism was definitely involved.

SELFISHNESS
Acknowledging and inspecting my antagonism toward Hispanics revealed a deep vein of selfishness in me. At one point, I had to admit, “I don’t like this influx of Hispanics in the US because it’s a drag on the economy.” In other words, I was thinking with my wallet–how a group of people affect my wealth–not with Jesus’ welcoming, hospitable love. (By the way, I wasn’t thinking very well in any case). It seemed obvious to me that I had to either follow Jesus or give up that way of thinking.

As the years passed, I began to see how that vein of selfishness was influencing my politics, my view of history, even my theology. It’s hard to be an honest interpreter of Scripture when you are motivated to find God giving you every advantage while denying it to others!

A SENSE OF SUPERIORITY
This brings me to something I was finally able to articulate to myself last night just as I walked across the parking lot to meet my friend in the restaurant. One of my biggest struggles in life is the temptation and tendency to think of myself as superior to many others in many ways: smarter, wiser, healthier, more discerning, more talented. Not, of course, superior to everyone around me… I’m arrogant, not stupid!

A LONG SLOW COURSE OF MEDICATION
When I recognized my selfishness and racism, I began reading extensively about the history of white supremacy in the US. There’s simply no way that I escaped inheriting some of the rottenness in that pervasive ideology! Talking with my friend at supper, I listed some of the authors I have read. As you read this list, you may be tempted to jump down my throat. But hear me out. The authors included Robin DiAngelo (White Fragility), Abram X Kendi (Stamped From the Beginning), Bryan Loritts (Insider Outsider), Jemar Tisby (How to Fight Racism), Luke Bobo (Race, Economics, and Apologetics), and Ta Nehisi Coates (We Were Eight Years in Power). With the exception of DiAngelo, these authors are all black men and skilled writers. Even if I question their analysis or solutions, I deeply appreciate their ability to articulate their perspective. Some of them are my brothers, and all are my friends in that regard. Reading these authors, and imbibing many related documentaries and podcasts has been like taking a long slow course of medication. I’m getting better, largely by understanding how bad off I am.

BACK TO THE POEM
The dark side of the moon is a hostile, unfamiliar environment. If the moon we see every night is smiling on us approvingly, the dark side of the moon is indifferent at best, scowling murderously at worst. In its metaphorical eyes, we are not great. In its metaphorical eyes, any notion that I am superior to anything or anyone is laughable.

HAVE I SAID ENOUGH?
If you go back and read the poem now, does it start to make sense? Can you see that it is hopeful, and not depressing? Let me know by commenting below!

[Note to my future self: I wrote this a day or two after watching an episode of The Crown, in which Prince Philip has a private interview with the Apollo 11 astronauts. Philip was experiencing a crisis at that point in his life, and he hoped that the astronauts would have some serious, helpful observations about life and faith. Alas, they were at that point just men of action, not contemplation.]

Forgetting Whose I Am

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Commentary

At the end of the day, when I penned this poem, here is what I wrote:

It has been a rough day. Foolishness has overwhelmed wisdom, including in my heart.

I reached out to a couple of wise friends. That helped.

I didn’t reach out to the one who really matters. Duh!

Preserving Sliced Cheese

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Commentary

PRACTICAL POETRY
When it comes to pleasures in life
The perils and pitfalls are rife
The proper preserving of cheese
May help you avoid some of these

In case you can’t imagine what I’m talking about, here’s a picture of me making a sandwich with sliced deli cheese that was frozen. Notice how crumbly it is!

(background image by Matthias Böckel on Pixabay)

Boy Mother Muse

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Commentary

When I first posted this on social media, I could barely contain my excitement:

I can hardly wait to write this up and post it on my blog. I haven’t fully figured out my own poem(!), but it has something to do with gratitude for having been cradled in metaphor. It rocks me still, many years after Mother’s passing.

Like the title, the poem is admittedly confusing. I appear to be talking about three entities: a boy, my mother, and my muse. Let me try to sort it out….

MUSE
When I set out to write this poem, I was simply thinking about how to explain those dry times when there’s no inspiration for poetry. Basically, my “muse” (my inspiration) is recharging, often by reading and resting. I think my reader can see that in the poem. And of course it is actually I who am recharging, not some external, mythical influence.

MOTHER
For some reason (Freud would have theories), my thinking shifted from an impersonal inspiration—my “muse”—to the most personal inspiration of all: my mother.

Once my focus shifted from an imaginary, impersonal “muse” to my mother, the first stanza came to me full-formed and finished, with one exception…. Once I had found a suitable background photograph, I substituted “ran” for what I had there originally: “wandered.” By the way, I do actually, literally remember my mother starting a story with these curious words.

BOY
That brings me to the most confusing part…. My mother was never a little boy. But in an effort to connect with me in my boyhood, she told me about her early life AS THOUGH she too had once been a little boy. That may have been easy and natural for her, since she was an only child, a self-proclaimed tomboy, and she lived out in the country. In any case, my kind, creative mother employed a giant metaphor to communicate her solidarity with me. As I wrote above, I am grateful for having been cradled in metaphor. Elements of poetry–metaphor, creativity, beauty–surrounded me in my youth.

“DANCING THE NEWS”
The fourth line of the second stanza changed repeatedly. Instead of “the news,” I tried various adverbs to describe how my muse acts when she’s not off recharging. I had her “dancing playfully,” “…energetically,” and “…gracefully.” None of those satisfied me. Finally, I decided that I should bypass all those adverbs and point instead to the reason behind her dancing: “good news.” (By the way, this is a line I’m borrowing from one of my own favorite poems: “Dancing The News.”) Although much of my poetry is complaint, or lament, I think it is all written in the context of hope for eventual resolution and restoration. Ultimately, I am inspired to write poetry by the “Good News” of the Gospel. My mother–more than anyone else–enabled me to see that good news.

(background image by Kev on Pixabay)

Before And After Avarice

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Commentary

For some time now, greed and selfishness have held morbid interest for me. So, so much of life looks different once you recognize these sins in yourself. So, my eyes are wide open this evening as I read a chapter on “Greed vs. Generosity” in Brant Pitre’s helpful “Introduction to the Spiritual Life.”

The poem’s last line is a double-entendre. I have made enemies with double-entendres. But in my poetry I mean them for good.

Am I Ever Cain?

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Commentary

I’ve often hit the story of Cain and Abel and thought, “I’m not thinking deeply enough about this!” So here’s a prayer. I hope it isn’t merely “fruit of the ground.”

POSSIBLE HOGWASH
About that “fruit of the ground….” I doubt this, and I honestly haven’t done any study of the matter, but what if “fruit of the ground” refers to windfall? Have you ever walked by a peach tree or an apple tree and been tempted to pick up a fruit that has fallen to the ground and then chomp into it? No? Me either. That fruit probably isn’t worth much. In any case, SOMETHING about Cain’s offering fell short of “doing what is right.”

As we read the account, notice something astounding: Cain murders his brother even after God has tried to reason with him.

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Genesis 4:3-8 (NIV)

Between Worlds

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Commentary

One of the things I value about social media is that it has put me in touch with kindred spirits in far-flung places. I had a couple of them in mind as I wrote this poem. Both of them are ex-pastors who are rethinking aspects of Christianity–as am I. We don’t know each other personally and we seem to have different parameters for our respective examinations of faith. But we do share faith in a Savior who guarantees eternity and the expectation of satisfying friendships forever.

Knowing Good and Evil

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Commentary

The poem above is not an endorsement of evil. Rather, it is a pondering of what it must have been like to be Adam, to not have known anything but good. But then the serpent suggests that God is withholding something…. This is our daily experience: Satan whispering that God cannot be trusted to give us all that’s good, that our current circumstances indicate that we can’t really trust Him.

More about that…. For some time now, I have been testing this definition of faith: grateful reliance on God. It is depending on God to provide what is good for us. Conversely, a failure of faith resents that God is withholding something good from us.

(background image by Aline Ponce on Pixabay)

Pain and Joy

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Commentary

This poem expresses my confidence that there is no shortage of things to inspire poetry. If a few days pass when I don’t feel any urgency to write, I don’t panic. My muse will return.

(background image by Gaurav on Pixabay)

#inspiration #muse #thenwelcomeeachrebuff #thatturnsearthssmoothnessrough