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Commentary
I know there are people who feel this far more than I. My pains in life have been few and slight. All the more, may we long for the One who will make things right!
I’m starting to see that our house fire was an inflection point. The process of recovery has forced me to evaluate possessions and my use of them. At many points, I ask myself questions like, “Do I need this now? Will I ever use this in the future?” One example I have mentioned elsewhere is the replacement of my desktop and laptop computers. The replacements are both more powerful than what I had before the fire. I can do more with these new computers than I could do with the old ones. But the excitement of creativity, e.g., of making and editing videos, has largely died away. I’m writing poetry more now than ever before. That’s creative, but low-tech. In general, my years before the fire are different than what I anticipate after the fire. I’m being forced to recognize and acknowledge that.
Living in an apartment has made us ask the question, “How much do we really enjoy home-ownership?” Yard work has lost its charm. Home maintenance in general has lost what little attraction it ever had. That change had already begun before the fire. But now I realize it all the more keenly. The fire was in early July. Even though we were living in an apartment, I still had to go over to the empty house and mow the lawn in Texas heat. That made me feel the futility of yard work: water and mow, water and mow. Although I cannot go into it here, the house still feels like a war zone, and I am engaged in daily skirmishes.
I’m tired.