(if you are viewing this via email, the website has a recording of this poem and commentary; click the title above)
Exclusion
(self-imposed)
Some friends I admire
From long ways off
Limited portions
Little doses
I grieve this regimen
It’s self-imposed
By sensing I’m
Inadequate
A voluble joie de vivre
I cannot match
Even though
I feel it too
An audience member,
Silent hanger-on
Applauding only
Others’ show
— Brad Hepp, 5/19/2025
Commentary
[18] “There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: [19] the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a young woman.
Proverbs 30:18-19 NIV
The fourth thing in this Proverb could apply to friendships in general. Sometimes, the process by which they’re initially established and then made solid is nothing short of miraculous.
God has performed this miracle several times for me. Against all odds, the beautiful man, the clever man, the popular, highly-regarded man has become my friend. I don’t mean a casual friend—a mere acquaintance admired “from long ways off”—but someone who is willing and able to share deep personal conversations.
The poem above explores why I sometimes doubt that God is ready to perform this miracle. Concentrating on my inadequacy, I forget His goodness. Pretending that I earn what comes my way, I neglect to ask for His favor. You may also notice that I sometimes assume things about potential friends, for instance that they always present with an energy (“voluble joie de vivre”) that I cannot match.
THE POEM STRUCTURE
Did you notice how each stanza narrows down through its four lines? I knew I was doing that as I wrote, and I SUSPECT my subconscious was not just playing with a pattern. Perhaps one of my readers can articulate an effect the pattern produces….